


Light in my Darkness

by huntingforus



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I just love these boys so I have to, M/M, Still don't know what I'm doing, killua being in love with gon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-07 02:53:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18401672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huntingforus/pseuds/huntingforus
Summary: When you know someone for a long time, strong feelings will develop, platonic or romantic. In Killua's case, it was both.𝘰𝘳𝘍𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘒𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘶𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘎𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳





	Light in my Darkness

* * *

 𝘰𝘯𝘦

_14 years old_

They were in the park on the weekend, sat on the swings and eating ice-cream. The usual.

A boy was with his sister next to them. Both of them were running around, laughing, like kids do. The sister was chasing him, with what looked like a worm in her hand.

The boy tripped.

He started crying.

The sister began to panic, clearly unused to a situation where someone was hurt. She tried to calm her brother down, making wild gestures with her hand attempting to distract him, but, alas nothing was working.He was still bleeding. He was still crying.

"What's wrong?"

Both of them looked up at Gon. The girl's eyes cleared, as if she saw her hero (maybe she had).

"H-he's hurt! I don't know what to do!"

Gon looked at the boy's knee, and then smiled at them.

"Nothing that can't be fixed"

Ten minutes later, the two children were off, waving furiously at Gon and a handkerchief around the boy's knee. Killua looked at Gon, at the smile that was on his face because he helped someone.

(The first spark of light in Killua's dark world.)

 

* * *

 

_two_

_16 years old_

They were in Gon's bedroom. Of course they'd be in Gon's house, Killua would rather drink poison than let Gon into his house. The end of year exams were upon them in just two weeks, and Gon being Gon means that he is completely and utterly unprepared. 

"Seriously, how do you get through school without teachers chasing you down?" Killua asked, as he looked through his friend's pathetic excuse for notes. 

Gon shrugged, "I don't do horribly, so they just let it go."

"Well you  _will_ do horribly if you don't start working now. With your grades you're gonna end up going to some crappy Uni and work in McDonalds for the rest of your life."

"But we'll still see each other right?"

Killua stopped. He turned to Gon, who was looking at him with a half desperate and half determined look on his face.

"It won't matter where we'll be right? Because we'll still see each other as much as we can!"

Killua continued to stare at Gon, whose face was practically glowing.

"What makes you say that?" He asked, as he turned away in mock annoyance.

(He was blushing)

"Because Killua is my best friend in the world!" Gon declared. 

"I want to see him forever!"

Killua looked up at that moment, and saw Gon smiling at him like he usually would. It wasn't out of the norm for Gon to be so affectionate, to say things like this, so why was Killua feeling strange?

He brushed it off, pushing Gon off of him as well as his emotions away. "Idiot," he said, "don't you ever get embarrassed saying that kind of stuff?"

"But why, Killua, I mean it!"

(The light grew bigger.)

* * *

  _three_

_17 years old_

"I have a date"

Killua turned his head to look at his best friend, whose eyes were fixed on the video game in front of him.

"With who?" He asked.

Gon fidgeted, then paused the game to look at Killua. "Palm Siberia, she's a year older than us."

Killua whistled, "Got a thing for older people huh?"

Gon shoved Killua furiously, quite obviously blushing and embarrassed. "Don't say it like that! She asked me out!"

Killua laughed at how ridiculous his friend was, choosing to shove back as he said "And you accepted!"

They ended up wrestling on the floor, a normal occurrence for them. After the victor was dictated (Killua) they resumed the game and continued playing. 

"Have you ever been on a date before?" Killua finally asked.

Gon thought about it for a minute, then said, "Only with Mito-san. She introduced me to other women."

 Killua made some kind of noise of acknowledgement.

(His stomach felt funny after hearing that. He wondered why.)

"I hope your date goes well then."

(It ended up being a disaster. Killua was strangely pleased about this fact. Gon came back that evening and said to him, "If I did get a girlfriend, it would mean I'd have to hang out with you less, and I don't want that!")

(Killua pushed him out of his chair.)

(The light was blinding.)

* * *

_four_

_19 years old_

  _Crash._

_Looks like Gon got here ok then._

They were living together. The two of them graduated (a miracle that Gon did) and decided that, since their two universities were near, they should move in together.

(Gon also wanted to make sure they still saw each other.)

Killua was happy. Extremely happy, in fact but he couldn't go around blatantly showing it. He loved spending time with Gon, and it would be weird to not see his face everyday.

"Hey you idiot, try and keep the place in one piece before we even start living here."

Gon looked up from his box, apparently ignoring the havoc that was around him. 

"Killua! You're here!"

Killua raised a hand, "Yo."

Gon then  _tackled_ Killua to the floor, because he was just so  _estatic_ to see him again.

"H-Hey!! Be careful, this place is a mess!"

Gon shoved his face into Killua's chest and clung into him like the baby he was. "I missed you," he mumbled into his clothes.

_You saw me last week,_ was om the tip of Killua's tounge, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. Gon seemed so happy now that he was here, and Killua wanted Gon to know that he felt the same way. 

"I missed you too."

They looked at each other, Gon on top of Killua because of his grand welcome earlier.

They stayed that was for who know how long.

Then, Gon slowly moved, bending his neck down. Killua knew what was happening.

He made no move to stop it.

They kissed, slow and steady. Neither of them knew exactly what to do.

It was fine. It was Gon. That's all Killua cared about.

 

(Killua's world was in the light now.)

* * *

  _five_

_21 years old_

Killua woke up to a burning smell in the apartment.

_Gon, what did you do._

He for dressed as quickly as he could, and walked into the kitchen.

It looked like a disaster.

There's was smoke coming from multiple different places; the stove, the kettle, the toaster. Ingredients were sprawled over the counter and the sink was full of dishes. Some looked filthy, and some looked clean.

In the middle of this chaos, was a certain green-haired boy wearing an apron and coughing.

"You idiot, what did you do?!" Killua asked, half wondering if his eyes were deceiving him. He questioned how one person could be  _this_ incompetant at something so simple. 

_"_ It's Killua's birthday today!" Gon whined, "I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed!"

"Well, you definatly surprised me," Killua said, smirking. "Not in the way you wanted to though,"

"I know..."

Killua looked at Gon, who seemed almost mad at himself that he let such a thing happen on Killua's "special day". He smiled to himself, secretly touched that Gon would risk his (and Killua's) life to make something for him. 

"Oi, c'mon you big baby," said Killua, nudging Gon. "Help me clean up and then we can make an  _actual_ breakfast."

The smile that rushed to Gon's face should have been illegal.

Before they started, however, Gon turned to Killua with that smile still on his face. He leaned forwards, and gently, softly and oh so  _sweetly_ kissed Killua on the mouth.

_Happy birthday._

 

(The light was warming his heart)

* * *

_+1_

_23 years old_

They sat in front of the TV, like they had done many times before. Gon yelled out everytime something exciting happened, and Killua would kick him and tell him to shut up.

The game would end, with a victor. The loser would pout while the victor fondly teases them about their loss. The loser would tackle the victor in "anger".

They'd end up sprawling on the floor, one on top and one on the bottom.

They'd stare, both panting from trying to maim each other moments before.

One of them would move.

Perhaps the Killua would wind his arms around Gon's neck and pull him down.

Perhaps Gon would move his arms to cradle Killua's head.

They'd end up kissing, though.

 

(They live in the light together.)

**Author's Note:**

> I still have no idea what I'm doing but thank you for reading!! Idk I feel like this was a very bold thing to write, because it's so long. It will probably have lots of mistakes tho, which I'm really sorry about. Constructive criticism as well as kudos would be very much appreciate. But please don't be mean cause I'm sensitive. Again, thank you all for reading my nonsense <33


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